Actually..

.. looking at the new header pic makes me remember nice things about the holiday so it couldn’t have been all bad. And I did bring back a huge bottle of my favourite hierbas ibicencas which is a digestif liqueur made almost entirely of fennel with other herbs thrown in. It’s deliciosus.

Moving on, we had a call from a very old friend of the husband’s yesterday. He’d gone off to Spain two or more years ago and made it quite plain he was starting a new life, which did not involve his old friends. He’s back, feeling quite ashamed and has been man enough to contact husband and apologise unreservedly. I think this was a brave move and it has paid off; I always liked this person, and he is husband’s best friend despite everything. They’ve made it up, and we hope to see our friend soon and hear his tale.

Friendship is valuable, true; and it’s strong and hard to break without a real malevolent force of will. I believe it to be more important than love, although love plays a part within friendship. But love can be transitory and can also fail - you love partly because of what you believe about a person, what you hope they are and what they will be, and your expectations of the one you love are higher and perhaps more unreasonable. Friends are necessary, they are people without whom your life would be that bit duller, that bit more ordinary. And they can come and go and we can let them, knowing the friendship, that spark of knowing and understanding, will not go out.

Give me friends over lovers any day.

And I don’t think you can have both from the same person. The dynamics cannot be elastic enough to allow all the parameters to be met. It just isn’t possible.