Hi Speed, Lo Drag
February 21, 2008 by piereth
God, I haven’t spent five minutes really writing on here in an age. What a life it looks like I lead, but it’s just not that exciting. A long round of laundry, sleep and work / life imbalance!
Let me say now that I’d hate it if I was any less busy, so that’s not the answer. I think that the answer is actually to do less, but make the things I do mean more.
That said, I’m in an uncomfortable place just now; I’m going at such a pace I never seem to touch the ground and friends say it’s rather like watching a tightly wound clockwork automaton clicking and spinning its way through a pre-arranged rota of tasks. I get so irritated if anyone gets in my way.
R also won’t put me down at the moment. I have to be with him, every waking moment. It’s not enough for me to be in the same room or even in eye-shot. He has to be touching me or there’s trouble.
Our kitchen diner is a little strangely organised - the kitchen is at right angles to the dining room and so when I’m cooking I’m out of sight. We’ve had to put a babygate right across the kitchen doorway and this has driven R mad - if we hadn’t he’d be right under my feet when I’m juggling sharp knives and boiling water, so not good. I love that he loves me so much, and I love him more; but to be indispensible is quite wearing. And it drives husband crackers and makes him quite depressed, I think - he can’t work out why he won’t do instead of me, just sometimes.
How old is R? I know our kids wanted me a lot of the time, and then all of a sudden, they just wanted Daddy. Maybe it’s just a phase.
Do you feel like you need to slow your pace? Take a breather? Get refreshed?
He’s two next month! I am expecting him to swap allegiances at any moment then I’ll feel lonely and slighted. No upside!!
I NEED some me-time. I never got it last week, as R was ill, and I’d planned for it and longed for it, so it’s no surprise I’m stretched a bit thin. Feeling pretty grotty so I doubt I’ll be at work tomorrow - perhaps that’s a good thing?
I took a sick day last week. You know what? It made me better. I think I got more done than I would have if I wouldn’t have taken a break. I just felt better. You should go for it!
I’m one one today. Not chucking a sickie, but finally listening to the various people who have told me that if I’m ill, I’m ILL! Thank you Jen, Truce, Alex, Dom, and everyone else who patiently bear with me as I come to understand, finally, that which everyone else knows!!